“Hi! Alex, right? Welcome to our little world! My name is Zahra”
A nice short, stout woman with long curly hair offered me her hand with a smile, and I shook it. She was well dressed, with a lot of files in her left arm and an overall attitude that just screamed “clever, assertive woman”. I liked her.
“Thank you! Nice to meet you, Zahra."
"So, shall we begin?"
I smiled in agreement and followed her as she started to lead the way, adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder before it fell off again under the weight of all the material in it. It wasn’t actually a necessity, to be fair: I probably just needed a few things that day, but I had panicked and brought literally everything that had come to my mind, and more. Had I packed my bed, I'd have had my entire house with me. But what could I do? This was the first big project I was working on, and I was doing something new to me, too, so the anxiety was high and running.
After getting my MA in composition a few years ago I had had my fair share of work, be it tutoring, assisting the music director in a show, composing for a few small projects, or playing on the most various occasions, but I had never had to teach an actor how to play or fake play instruments convincingly enough to portray a musician, let alone in such a huge production. When I had been offered the job I had accepted immediately. I mean, being involved in such a huge thing…it was the most incredible opportunity, and I knew I would have never stopped thanking my boyfriend for helping me get this. Moreover, I had already got the chance to work with the person I was going to teach, and he was an absolute pleasure to have around and work with.
So yay! What a great opportunity!
I was super excited! At first.
But then I had begun to panic. I had never done something like this. Was I going to be good at it? But good wasn't enough. I had to be outstanding. We were talking about a huge blockbuster about one of the greatest artists of the last century, one who had inspired me and hundreds of others to get into this industry, and if I failed at my job, it was going to be a disaster. And I was going to screw up the career of a very good, by now established actor, who was also a very pleasant person.
Fuck.
When I had got up this morning and prepared my bag I was still swirling in this vortex of insecurity, going through an endless list of things that may go wrong and destroy my career, or someone else's career, or cause the entire studio to burn down, or the world to implode, or our galaxy to burst into a billion confetti, each on of them saying “Alex is a failure”, but then I had realised I was just stressing out for nothing and it wasn't going to help, so I had decided to dump the bad thoughts and dive in.
And now here I was, shoving the negative thoughts down and smiling to the future, which was absolutely going to be awesome! Yes. Awsome. Haha. Ha.
I tried to focus on Zahra's voice as she led me through the various corridors and explained a few things, occasionally greeting someone and explaining who they were, until we finally stopped in front of a huge window that looked onto a studio, where a man was looking at an old record on the opposite wall. He wasn’t very tall and had large shoulders, which made him look slightly stocky, but well built and pleasant to look at, nevertheless. He gave you a sense of strength and security, in a way.
Yep, I thought, he’s just as I remembered.
Zahra said she had explained everything to him but she was very sorry, something had come up and she just couldn't hang around today, so I reassured her it was no problem, we said goodbye and then she was gone. To tell the truth, it was a problem. It was a very big problem, a problem with a billboard on it saying "Ahahah screw you - Love, the universe".
She was the one supposed to help me, guide me, save me, call my family when I died of spontaneous self combustion!
BUT! No. I could do it. If she deemed it a good idea, leaving me on my own, it meant I could do it. In the end I had taught a fair share of people, impossible children included, and I had even directed choirs, so it was going to work. No problem.
...okay, maybe yes problem, but no billboard.
I'm awesome and it's gonna be great and the universe won’t implode, YAY!
As soon as I saw her turn around the corner I took a deep breath, some alien form of excitement slowly beginning to creep on me, and I put my hand on the doorknob.
Another deep breath, aaaaand- let the show begin.
When I got into the room I noticed the man was still inspecting the same record, so I got closer to see what it was, and nodded to myself in agreement to his choice.
"That's a great album" I said, trying to be polite and break the ice, but what followed was not what I had in mind when I first opened my mouth.
I hadn't noticed he was sipping tea, and when he turned at my attempt of friendliness, he suddenly half choked on it and did what was the best enactment of a majestic tea fountain. Or hose. A majestic tea hose. On full power.
"Shit! Sorry! Did I spit it all on you?" he asked, and soon enough a mortified look appeared on his face as he noticed a growing stain on my t-shirt. "Oh god. I’m sorry. I am so incredibly sorry. I'll buy you another t-shirt tomorrow"
To be honest I was actually more amused than pissed, and I chuckled as I took a napkin from my Mary Poppins-esque bag. Tapping myself (almost) dry, I said it was not a problem at all, that it was my fault in the end and I was sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on him. He smiled a nice, bright smile, still mortified but now a bit lighter-hearted, and held out a hand.
"I'm Gareth, by the way. Gareth Morgan, if you want to report me to the higher levels," he joked.
I looked at his hand for a fraction of a second, during which I heard the voice in my head say that ok, he definitely didn't remember me, then. As I'd expected. Cool.
So I decided I'd just pretend I didn't either.
"Yeah, I know, I loved your last film!" I said, "Nice to meet you! I'm Alessandra, but you can call me Alex"
"Yeah I know. I mean- I think we worked together on a show some time ago?"
Wait, what?
"Yes! We did! I didn't think you'd remember" I exclaimed, surprised.
"No yeah sure! I just thought- no but yeah, sure, of course I do!" he said with a slightly embarrassed laugh, "I mean how could I forget".
He suddenly stopped and looked at me with a tiny hint of panic for a split second, and I couldn't help my eyebrow from raising.
"I mean- uh- you know, Jonathan was never around so we worked a lot with you and- you were very good. Did a great job managing us bunch of idiots," he explained, and I smiled.
It had been a few confusing minutes, but at least now I knew he did remember me, which was already an achievement, and, bonus points, he had a good opinion of me, too.
Good start, Alessandra. We can do it.
"Oh, thank you" I said, "that's very nice of you".
"Yeah, so...what's the plan?" he asked, and I grabbed my bag.
“So, I was thinking maybe we could start with…”