Gareth was sitting on the sofa, half dozing off as the film on TV kept unravelling without knowing no one was actually paying attention to it.
It was time. This was the moment.
I went over to the sofa and sat down next to him, then I went for it.
I lifted my hand, let it over his head and then-
Pat. Pat pat. Pat pat pat. Patpatpatpatpatpatpat.
"What on Earth are you doing?" Gareth mumbled groggily, completely at loss.
"Experimenting" I said as I stared carefully at my hand patting his head.
"And what exactly?"
"I saw this video where people patted their cat repeatedly to find out how long it took them to get pissed. Scar wouldn't resist a second so I thought I'd test it on you."
"Mmh. How's it going?"
"Still no sign of adverse reaction," I said, still patting him. "No reaction at all, actually"
"I see."
"I believe the subject of the experiment may be defective. I may have to return it"
"Oh shut up"
Gareth rolled around, making me roll with him as he wrapped his arms around me to stop the patting, and I cheered.
"YES! 78 SECONDS! You broke everyone's cat's record!"
This time it was him laughing and shaking his head.
"You are unbelievable. Unbelievable" he said, and I smiled.
"And you are the best, most patient cat ever" I said before pecking him on the lips. "And boyfriend." Another peck. "I love you"
"I love you, too. You madwoman"
-C